Found on the interwebs
Obviously written by a Frenchman (not me, but a stupid sheep) as it is full of typos. I feel too lazy to correct them:
- When you think that French fries aren’t French at all, but from Belgium
- When you think that yogurt is from Bulgaria
- When you call a baguette sliced in two and filled with a steak and French fries « un sandwich américain »
- When the easiness of parking is on the top list of the pros when you buy a new car
- When you think that Coca Cola and Mac Donald’s are “just for kids”
- When you consider a Coke with whisky as a suitable drink for teenagers
- When a President becomes popular after it has been proven that he has several mistresses
- When you welcome immigrants… just as long they eat cheese, drink wine, and play pétanque
- When you can tell the political views of anybody by the cheese he / she prefers
- When you call an 80 miles drive “a journey”
- When you think that having a vacation in Paris during the summer is nonsense
- When you think that a 50 mph speed limit means that you can drive at 70
- When you’re able to guess the nationality of a tourist by his clothes
- When you consider the Champs Elysées the worst avenue in the world
- When you think that a good evening meal with friends must have at least one big argument
- When you can’t think of a translation in French of the sentence “That's you’re opinion, and I respect that”
- When you can't think of translation in French for TMI 'Too Much Information', because, I mean really, do you ever say too much?
- When you think that the French are “stupid sheep”
- When you can’t stand any foreigner saying that French are “stupid sheep”
- When you avoid French tourists in foreign countries
- When you think that a glass of white wine at 10 am is good for the health
- When you call "an affair" "un flirt"
- When you go on strike to preserve the right to go on strike
- When Lafayette means “big store with affordable sexy lingerie” to you
- When you think that Quebecois are “courageous and strong people with a funny accent”
- When you think the only food outside France that’s acceptable to eat is Italian
- When you say “That’s the worst haircut I’ve ever seen” when you meet somebody with a bad haircut
- When you only see a movie after having read ten different critics who liked it (and saying "two thumbs up" does not qualify)
- When you think that people interested in the American culture are dorks
- When you think that you know the USA when you have traveled one week to New York, one other week to San Francisco
- When you consider an air rifle as a lethal weapon
- When you think that “un libéral” is a neo-con and “un républicain” is a Democrat
- When you think that somebody giving you a compliment wants something from you… That he won't get !
- When you think that saying “You’re right” is a sign of weakness (you should say “You’re not wrong”).
- When you’re used to seeing pictures of naked, or halfnaked women on billboards
- And, above all, you know that you're French when you think that France is the most beautiful country in the world… sadly occupied by the French !
You know you're French when...
- When you think that French fries aren’t French at all, but from Belgium
- When you think that yogurt is from Bulgaria
- When you call a baguette sliced in two and filled with a steak and French fries « un sandwich américain »
- When the easiness of parking is on the top list of the pros when you buy a new car
- When you think that Coca Cola and Mac Donald’s are “just for kids”
- When you consider a Coke with whisky as a suitable drink for teenagers
- When a President becomes popular after it has been proven that he has several mistresses
- When you welcome immigrants… just as long they eat cheese, drink wine, and play pétanque
- When you can tell the political views of anybody by the cheese he / she prefers
- When you call an 80 miles drive “a journey”
- When you think that having a vacation in Paris during the summer is nonsense
- When you think that a 50 mph speed limit means that you can drive at 70
- When you’re able to guess the nationality of a tourist by his clothes
- When you consider the Champs Elysées the worst avenue in the world
- When you think that a good evening meal with friends must have at least one big argument
- When you can’t think of a translation in French of the sentence “That's you’re opinion, and I respect that”
- When you can't think of translation in French for TMI 'Too Much Information', because, I mean really, do you ever say too much?
- When you think that the French are “stupid sheep”
- When you can’t stand any foreigner saying that French are “stupid sheep”
- When you avoid French tourists in foreign countries
- When you think that a glass of white wine at 10 am is good for the health
- When you call "an affair" "un flirt"
- When you go on strike to preserve the right to go on strike
- When Lafayette means “big store with affordable sexy lingerie” to you
- When you think that Quebecois are “courageous and strong people with a funny accent”
- When you think the only food outside France that’s acceptable to eat is Italian
- When you say “That’s the worst haircut I’ve ever seen” when you meet somebody with a bad haircut
- When you only see a movie after having read ten different critics who liked it (and saying "two thumbs up" does not qualify)
- When you think that people interested in the American culture are dorks
- When you think that you know the USA when you have traveled one week to New York, one other week to San Francisco
- When you consider an air rifle as a lethal weapon
- When you think that “un libéral” is a neo-con and “un républicain” is a Democrat
- When you think that somebody giving you a compliment wants something from you… That he won't get !
- When you think that saying “You’re right” is a sign of weakness (you should say “You’re not wrong”).
- When you’re used to seeing pictures of naked, or halfnaked women on billboards
- And, above all, you know that you're French when you think that France is the most beautiful country in the world… sadly occupied by the French !
Comments
Is this how you know you're an irredeemable expatriate?